I Still Can't Believe My Ashley Is Gone

Day 107

On Friday, day one of the Chicago to Peoria Run, on one of our first stops, there is a Starbucks. While getting a coffee, Mike noticed a Purple Frosted Cookie. So we got it. I put it in the Microwave in the RV so it wouldn't break. Today when we were gatheting our stuff to go home, I went into the Microwave to grab the cookie and I thought to myself, "Ashley would like this cookie, I will give it to her." Instantly I felt the constant pain that I have in my heart and... stomach increase.

I held it together, but the minute we got in our vehicle and started driving home, the pain overwhelmed me and I started to cry.

107 Days and I still can't believe my Ashley is gone. I can't believe that the rest of my days in this world, will be without her. With each passing day, the pain increases. The desire, the need, to See, Hear, Feel, Kiss & Hug My Precious Ashley, is so great, so intense, that at times it feels as if I will combust.

Nothing about this is right, is normal. We are not made to outlive our children. There is nothing with more power, more force, capable of destroying a human life, than that of Losing a Child.

I wish there was a way to truly decribe the pain of losing a child, but no description would ever be sufficient to make you understand.

I Miss My Beautiful Ashley So Much and I Want Her Back. I Want My Baby Girl.