Last night It took about 2 hours for me to fall asleep. I Spent two hours crying because I Miss My Ashley SO MUCH. I finally fell asleep at 2am and have been up since 5:30 am.
I have spent most of my day crying. I have tried so hard to function the best I can every day, but I don't know how to exist without my Ashley. I don't even know who I am anymore.
My Daughter is gone and I can't go visit her at College. I can't get in a car or take a plane and visit her at her Apartment or House. I have to go to the cemetery to see My Daughter. Only I don't get to see her. I get to talk to a monument that has My Baby Girls Name on it. I get to look around at all those surrounding her who were in their 70's, 80's 90's and some even 100 when the passed and then there is My Girl, 25 years old.
I have spent most of my day crying. I have tried so hard to function the best I can every day, but I don't know how to exist without my Ashley. I don't even know who I am anymore.
My Daughter is gone and I can't go visit her at College. I can't get in a car or take a plane and visit her at her Apartment or House. I have to go to the cemetery to see My Daughter. Only I don't get to see her. I get to talk to a monument that has My Baby Girls Name on it. I get to look around at all those surrounding her who were in their 70's, 80's 90's and some even 100 when the passed and then there is My Girl, 25 years old.
Steve who is to the right of and below Ash, was 44 and I believe Sam, who is across the way, was 22. A baby girl who was 4, is inside the chapel and now Zach is there as well. All 5 of them too young to be gone.
I can name other people too, because I get to spend my days at a cemetery and I talk to others who are near my Ash. Antoinette, who is above and to the left of Ash, is waiting for her engraving of 2017. Paul, who is next to Ashley Needs to have his engraving darkened because it is getting hard to see. Charles is up and to the left of Ashley. I mean the list goes on. We are all old friends now because I have been to the cemetery every day since My Ash has been there. If by chance I couldn't be there a particular day, Michael or someone else would go and facetime me.
This is my life. This is where I get to go visit My Ashley. But Like I said, I don't get to see her and she doesn't talk to me, I just talk to her. To the front of her monument.
So This Must Be It. The Greater Good. My Purpose in Life. I Was Meant to Go to the Cemetery Every Day, Read & Talk to Ashley and Others Who Have Passed. Yep, that is accomplishing so much good.
I can name other people too, because I get to spend my days at a cemetery and I talk to others who are near my Ash. Antoinette, who is above and to the left of Ash, is waiting for her engraving of 2017. Paul, who is next to Ashley Needs to have his engraving darkened because it is getting hard to see. Charles is up and to the left of Ashley. I mean the list goes on. We are all old friends now because I have been to the cemetery every day since My Ash has been there. If by chance I couldn't be there a particular day, Michael or someone else would go and facetime me.
This is my life. This is where I get to go visit My Ashley. But Like I said, I don't get to see her and she doesn't talk to me, I just talk to her. To the front of her monument.
So This Must Be It. The Greater Good. My Purpose in Life. I Was Meant to Go to the Cemetery Every Day, Read & Talk to Ashley and Others Who Have Passed. Yep, that is accomplishing so much good.
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