100 Days Without My Sweet Beautiful Ashley.

I No Longer Get To See Her Smile, Hear Her Laugh Or Experience Her Pure & True Infectious Heart.

I Still Cannot Believe That My Sweet Beautiful Ashley Is Gone & That I Have To Spend The Rest Of My Days In This World Without Her. My Heart Hurts So Much. I Want Too See, Hear, Hug, Kiss, My Ashley So Much. I Just Want My Ashley Here With Me.

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Still Having A Hard Time Believing, That If God Is Real & This Powerful & Amazing God, That I Was Raised To Believe He Was, Why? Why Would He Allow My Sweet Beautiful Ashley, Who Gave So Much To Others, Who Wanted So Badly To Live, To Be Taken From This World? To Be Taken From Me? Taken From Her Dad, Brothers, Family & Friends? Why Would He Leave A Mother, To Live In Constant Pain & Suffering, For The Rest Of Her Days In This World? Why Would He Leave My Boy's With A Mother, Who Is Partially Dead Inside?

Please don't say:

It Was God's Will, God Needed Another Angel, Needed Ashley More Than We Did, We Will Never Know, etc.... It is real easy to say those things when it wasn't your child who was taken. If it were, I promise, you wouldn't be saying those things, nor would you want to hear them.

My whole life I believed without seeing, without any undeniable proof. However, I always struggled with why a child could be made to suffer, why a child could be taken from this world, from their family. Now that I am actually living the life I could never understand, I am really doubting the existence of this Great, Powerful, Wonderful God I believed in without seeing, my entire life.

I Love & Miss You So Much My Sweet Beautiful Ashley.