Ashley Forever: It Is Beyond Sad

Day 182~ 26 Weeks~

It is beyond sad. Living your life every day, when Your Child's Life was taken from them, is beyond sad.

I am going to be 49 years old on Tuesday and although I have faced many struggles in life, I was able to live a good life. I had fun, I enjoyed life. I got to be a kid, a teenager, a young adult. I got married and had kids. Having Kids is by far the Best, Most Fulfilling Part of my life. I was able to LIVE.

Ashley experienced a lot of Love, a Lot of Joy, But she also experienced a lot of suffering, a lot of disappointments. She had dream, after dream crushed. Yet she smiled & laughed. She loved & gave. She never complained and simple things made her happy. But she had so many more dreams she wanted to live. Simple life dreams, but her dreams just the same.

So going on, living your life, when Your Child had all of that taken away from them, is not just SAD to Me, It is way too painful. I have no desire to enjoy life. For 25 1/2 years, the joy I had in my life, the fun, was because I had 3 Beautiful Children in My Life. As they got older, the boy's wanted to do less with Mom and more with their friends, which is normal. But Ashley ALWAYS wanted to do things with me. Not just because she is My Daughter, but because She Is My Best Friend.

I am merely here for my Boy's. To be here for them, to love them, to help them fulfill their dreams. The rest of my time not spent on My Boy's, will be dedicated to My Ashley. Dedicated to the cause she died for. The children she died for.

I didn't just loss My Daughter, I Lost My Best Friend.

I Love & Miss You So, So Much Baby Girl. My Sweet, Beautiful Ashley.