Ashley Forever: Ashley Loves Halloween

Day 193~

The Picture Below is Ashley on Halloween 2015. That was the last Halloween she was able to celebrate. Her last Halloween was spent in the hospital.

Ashley loved Halloween. She loved every holiday because it meant she got to spend time with "Family". Ashley didn't go out with friends to parties for Halloween, She spent it with family. Every Halloween, since she became too old to Trick or Treat, she loved handing out the candy. She took it over because she loved seeing the kids in their costumes.

Every day without my Ashley is Excruciatingly Painful, But some day's more than others.

Yesterday morning when I fell back asleep, I had a dream about Ashley. It was a dream about something that happened a few days before Ashley collapsed and was air lifted to the hospital. I had just finished helping Ashley get ready for bed like I did every night, only this night was different. She asked me if I would sleep with her. Of course I did for the next several nights. The only part not in the dream was the part where right before Ashley got in to bed, the night before she collapsed, she gave me a Great Big Hug and said, "Thanks for taking such great care of me Mom. I Love You" I told her that She didn't need to thank me, that I am her Mom and I am supposed to take her of her. But I told her she was very welcome and that I loved her too, so very much. That was the last hug I ever got from my Ashley because over the next two and a half weeks, Ashley became too weak to give even a hug.

So call me crazy, but because of that dream, I felt like I needed to sleep in her room last night, so I did. Very difficult.

If there is an afterlife and my Ashley is capable of being around me, as close as we are, why can't I feel Her here with me? I think I would know, without a doubt if My Ashley were near me.

I Love & Miss You So Much. My Sweet Beautiful Ashley.