Day 128~
These Moments, Not The Cancer/Pain/Hospital Moments, But The Fun, Spend Time Together, With My Daughter, My Best Friend, My Sweet, Precious, Beautiful Ashley Moments, Are Gone Forever. FOREVER
Think about your Child moving out on their own. Going off to College. Moving out of state. That pain you feel, because you won't see them every day. The pain and heartache of Missing them. The Yearning to see them, hug them, hear them, again.
...
You Feel that pain, that emptiness, that yearning?
That Is My Pain Times Infinity. The Difference Is, I Can't Pick Up The Phone & Call Ashley Or Facetime Her. I Don't Get To Go Visit Her At School, At Her New Home. She Doesn't Get To Come Home To Visit Me. I Don't Get To See Her Ever Again & I Have To Live With That From This Moment Till However Many Years I Have Left On This Earth. Potentially 40+ Years.
My Time With My Daughter Consist Of Looking At Her Picture & Talking & Reading To Her At The Cemetery.
That's My Life Now. That's My World. 40+ Years. I Have Barely Survived 128 Days.
Facebook Memory from August 27th 2016
Ash and I miss being at home with our Guy's and our Girl Izzy! Ashley's Platelets were down to 20,000 by 6am. Ugh She needed both Platelets and Blood Today. He...r potassium and calcium were a tad low, but they replaced them. They came in Today to fit her for her Life Vest Defibrillator. Jake and Aunt Julie stayed with Ashley this afternoon so I could go home and get some things done. I worry the whole time I am gone. I don't worry because I don't trust her awesome Nurse's, I worry that something like last Friday will happen and I won't be there for her.
Last night Ashley and I had a Popcorn/Reese's Pieces/Grey's Anatomy Slumber Party. Queen Ashley Elizabeth thinks I need to get the lead out of my butt when making the popcorn. She said if I would have been quicker getting back from the family kitchen, that the popcorn would have been warm enough to melt the Reese Pieces. Mike has to miss most of our slumber party's, as he has to go home most of the nights to be with Jake. But he was able to stay for a couple nights of White Sox Slumber Party's this week. Our room is the fun room! And the room that has the Homemade Pound Cake!
Please continue to pray! Stay Strong, Think Positive and Keep the Faith!
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